The Cycle of Benefit of Caregiving

From our book, Caregiver Revolution

Introduction – Help Yourself by Helping Others

We already know that for you, the caregiver, it’s “never about me.” Caregivers are selfless…often too selfless. Believe it or not you can take care of yourself while caring for others. You can even use caregiving as a practice in which to include work with larger issues surrounding life and death. Your efforts to become a better caregiver today can help you and those around you tomorrow. By helping your loved one you are indeed preparing for a better end of life. This is the essence of the caregiver revolution.

Caregiving is a precious opportunity to help others, but perhaps you never stop to consider how much it is helping you! By doing this work you are naturally creating a more positive environment for the end of your own life. You’ll be able to handle your death more gracefully, knowledgeably and peacefully. Those around you at that time will benefit from this and will, in turn, pass it on. By making efforts to become a more mindful caregiver today, you are initiating a cycle of benefit which will help future generations.

 

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Self Inquiry and Direct Experience

For all of you on Facebook I highly recommend liking this page for daily quotes: https://www.facebook.com/discoveryourtrueself

They are always well presented and provide different viewpoints for reflection and practice. From todays post:

“Life is not a to-do list. It’s a gift. Walk slower. Hug longer. Laugh louder. Love deeper. The clock may be ticking, but your presence is timeless. We’ve been conditioned to believe that constant productivity equals worth, but humans weren’t designed for endless output. We need moments of wonder, connection, and rest – not as rewards for hard work, but as essential ingredients for a meaningful life.” awaken_one

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Yogic instructions for a good death

Dying instructions and guidance

Editors note, These instruction were provided by a friend who is steeped in the yogic tradition but I quickly recognized that they are universal. For those of different religions or traditions, substitute “prayer” for mantra, your religious saint or teacher for guru or deity, etc. Become absorbed in your particular faith. In addition, have others do prayers and readings from spiritual texts at the bedside. The room should be quiet, peaceful, free of disturbance, but keep it light, not overly serious!

To the person dying: Take up the name of God given by the guru or the mantra and repeat it with each inhalation and exhalation with deep faith. Recall and appreciate the Divine source and potency of the mantra, the meaning of it and it’s deity. Feel that the mantra is the vibration of the one true self. Recall that the mantra, guru and person repeating it are really one. Thou art that.

christian death and dying

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Here are 10 STEPS for Managing Stress from our book Caregiver Revolution

  1. Breathe deeply

As a caregiver, there are moments where your frustration, anger, or anxiety will spike to overwhelming levels. When that happens, breathing deeply is your best friend. It forces you to pause and calm down so you can better deal with whatever is happening. Breathing is the first step in the Relaxation Response which we describe in our book and elsewhere on this site. See step 8 here for a full decription.

Navy SEALs use deep breathing techniques to calm themselves during life-threatening situations like searching for hidden bombs. If it works for those guys and gals, it won’t hurt to give it a try!

relaxation

caregiver relaxation drawing by Lin Larsen

2. Reach out

Leaning on the people in your support system is an effective way to reduce stress. We all need to vent, hear a friendly voice, or escape the responsibility for a while.

It doesn’t matter if you connect in person, on the phone, on video chat, or in an online group. The point is to reach out to people who are there for you and can help you feel better when you’re especially down.

 3.  Exercise

Getting up and moving is a great way to burn off stress and improves overall health. Regular exercise helps ward off conditions that commonly plague caregivers, like depression and heart disease.

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The Great Adventure Spiritual Care, Death and Dying Bereavement Newsletter

We started as a newsletter back in 1997 and we have now moved the content to this site. Please see the drop down link above for reviews, past conference write ups and articles, all in the field of end-of life care!








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Lightly – Aldous Huxley

It’s dark because you are trying too hard.

Lightly child, lightly. Learn to do everything lightly.

Yes, feel lightly even though you’re feeling deeply.

Just lightly let things happen and lightly cope with them.

I was so preposterously serious in those days, such a humorless little prig.

Lightly, lightly – it’s the best advice ever given me.

When it comes to dying even. Nothing ponderous, or portentous, or emphatic.

No rhetoric, no tremolos,

no self conscious persona putting on its celebrated imitation of Christ or Little Nell.

And of course, no theology, no metaphysics.

Just the fact of dying and the fact of the clear light.

So throw away your baggage and go forward.

There are quicksands all about you, sucking at your feet,

trying to suck you down into fear and self-pity and despair.

That’s why you must walk so lightly.

Lightly my darling,

on tiptoes and no luggage,

not even a sponge bag,

completely unencumbered.

— Aldous Huxley, Island








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